Yes, I have to come to some sad realizations…
X has been going to Montessori school since he was little. The first Montessori school he went to was God send to him. It helped him to focus, to be disciplined, to love learning. I was thrilled with the progress he had made, and so we decided to extend his experience in a Montessori school by signing him to the local elementary Montessori school.
After a few months of him attending, I started to realize that, while it is an AMAZING school, like no other around here, it is not really a Montessori school, but rather a Montessori inspired school (with the Montessori name). He didn’t do as much Montessori as I and he was hoping for. This combined with some learning issues that caused trouble to the point of getting him out of school, he didn’t have the year I was hoping he would have. Far less. And unfortunately, months later I realize that his experience was even worst then what I thought.
During this year, I saw my very curious and questioning 6 yo ask less question, and wonder less about things in general, the questions were dropping in numbers and meaning too. I, maybe a bit naively, thought that he was getting his needs met by school and what we were doing around here. I couldn’t have made a more false assumption. At some point, we finally understood that X was having difficulties learning, and I was seeing that he was not happy with what was going on. Again, I never thought his love of learning had been bruised, I thought we had managed to keeo this intact, regardless of what had happened to him in school.
We have started back school unofficially for almost 2 weeks now. And now I see it more then ever. He has lost this amazement in his eyes. Nothing amazes him anymore. Nothing grabs him like it used to. I am not able to reach him anymore and make him want to dig deeper. He is not thrilled by anything. He lost this love of learning that he has inside him, the very thing that I had promise myself that I would protect.
This was not something I thought I would be faced with. All the planning that I have done is pretty much useless. The mere thought of requiring something (narration, reading even!) from him is just pushing him further away. I have to try to help him reconnect with learning, and this is not something was I anticipating, not something I thought I would have to do – I am SO not ready for that.
I am not even sure I know what to do at this point. Suggestions anyone?
In the mean time, I have M and E who would want to take more then I can offer them, I was not expecting such a demand from them.
Wow, what a start at homeschooling! Not the start I thought, exciting nonetheless…I guess.
If you have any info that would help me out, I’d love to hear it, books, websites, or just a simple 2 cents. I don’t know where to turn to, or how to start. THis is a WAY bigger challenge then I thought, and MUCH more important too.